[Malachi 1:6 NLT] “The Lord of Heaven’s Armies says to the priests: “A son honors his father, and a servant respects his master. If I am your father and master, where are the honor and respect I deserve? You have shown contempt for my name! “But you ask, ‘How have we ever shown contempt for your name?’”
I will be speaking briefly on why you should honour your father every day of your life. I am speaking about fathers who stayed. I am aware that some fathers were not courageous enough to stay so they left; some left for the city but other committed suicide. I stand with all of you who had to deal with an unceremoniously absent father. I understand how you feel anytime you have to think about the father who did not stay. I am not in the stead of God to criticise or judge any man. All I want to say is that it takes so much to be a father that stayed.
It takes so much to be a father but want to discuss five (5) of what it takes. This is meant to both inform would-be fathers and to strengthen fathers to continue to take the charge of fathering. I know it is not easy but I have no doubt that you are more than able.
What does it take to be a father?
1. Courage!
The first thing it takes to be a father is the courage to take the responsibility to be a pillar, priest, prophet, protector, and provider of a household. Some fathers commit suicide and others leave home because they were not courageous enough to appear incapable to their children. Sometimes, when a man is unable to provide for his home as he ought to he may take to drinking, leave home or even committed suicide.
No man wants to feel like my children are suffering because I am unable to provide. That feeling kills and humiliates; I have been there before; I know what it feels like. There was a time when I could not provide, and I felt humiliated. It took courage to stay and be humiliated. Thank God I had a wife who supported and understood me; thank God she did not put pressure on me.
2. Love
You can never be a father if you don’t love your spouse and children. You will have to love even when it is so hard to love. Can you imagine what it feels like for Israel to live with Reuben all those years knowing that his son had ‘couched on his bed’? Can you imagine what it took for Jacob to pretend that nothing had happened; when his own son slept with his concubine? Fathering takes love!
Do you know what it means for the father to watch his son walk away with half of his wealth, knowing that his boy loved the gift more than he loved him? Do you know what it means for a son or daughter to walk up to you and say something like “Father, I can not continue to slave for you. I cannot waste my future with you. I want to go and earn my own money and get a life?”
Only to go and squander everything and come back? Do you know what a father’s love look like? It is that kind of love that rebukes you sternly and yet you are the only friend the father has. So the father comes to beckon his son in the cool of the night to return home.
I have been there several times when I have been hurt and bruised and yet I had to still go back and draw people close to me. It takes love to be a father that stays. It takes love to keep doing so much and yet not appreciated.
3. Compassion
The third things it takes to be a father is a compassionate heart. In luke 15:20, when the younger son returned, his father runs to meet him. His father was moved by compassion for him. Without compassion, you can’t be a father who stays. In Psalm 103:13, the Bible teaches that father’s pity their children. You must be compassionate towards your children to be a father that stays.
4. Sacrifice
This is the fourth thing, it takes to be a father. You must be willing and ready to sacrifice for your children. You will sacrifice your comfort for your children on many occasions. You must be willing to sacrifice. Fathers who stayed sacrificed to stay. They gave up many opportunities just to make you comfortable. When we were children, our fathers provided for us and not even for themselves! There are times when Dads have to kill their speed just to help us (See Genesis 33:13)
5. Discipline
Dear Dad, it will take discipline to stay. You must resolve to stay if you will stay. The going may get tough but you must keep going. Don’t become weary; just keep going!
These are simple reasons, and secrets to excelling as a father to your children. And you now have understanding as to why many fathers fail.
Stay blessed
Simpe Bediako
