The Dangers of Talebearing

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[Leviticus 19:16 KJV] “Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the Lord“.

We have been trying to build a church and a fellowship where everyone can call home. Therefore we have dedicated ourselves to learn and catch the little foxes that try to destroy our vines which have tender grapes. We have been studying about the little and petty things that have the potential to damage the beautiful fellowship we are trying to create. Last month, we began by studying insecurity. We understood that insecurity is at the root of the many evils that try to destroy us. We learnt that many people even resort to witchcraft because of insecurities.

This month, I want to exhort you on talebearing. This is also another little fox. Tale bearing;

Destroys even the best of friends.
Stirs up strife (See Proverbs 26:20)
Leads to deep wounds and chronic diseases (See Proverbs 26:22)
Reveals secrets and betrays confidence (See Proverbs 11:13)
Has cost some people their very livelihood and existence (See Leviticus 19:16)

Many beautiful families and marriages have been destroyed because of talebearers, gossippers, and rumour mongers. Any woman who wants to have a beautiful peaceful life must be very careful about talebearer.

Who is a talebearer?

A talebearer is a person who maliciously gossips or reveals secrets. The keyword is malicious; it is not just about the revealing of the secrets but the intention. A talebearer spreads tales and rumours with the sole intention of destroying the other person.

The difference between an informant and a talebearer is that the informant reveals a matter for the common good of humanity but a talebearer reveals a matter to malign another. There are two classic examples of this in Scripture: Joseph and the men of Joab.

Joseph, in Genesis 37:2, was an informant; he brought his father the report of the evil that was taking place on his father’s blindside.

2 Samuel 3:23 tells how Abner died. He came to visit David to make peace and as he was returning Joab pursued and killed him under the guise of peace. Joab knew about Abner’s visit because of talebearers. Joseph told his father what evil the brothers did to save them, but the people who told Joab that David had seen Abner off in peace were talebearers; they had an ulterior motive; they wanted Joab to react, and he did. He pursued and killed Abner. Their talebearing led Joab to disobey the king and kill Abner.

How do we cease tale-bearing?

1. Find a worthy purpose:

1 Timothy 5:11-13, Apostle Paul talks about marrying because, in that culture, women served as housewives. Find a purpose to live for and live for your purpose. Mind your own business and stop meddling in other people’s business that does not concern you.

2. Have a wise ear:

When rumour hit the ear of the wise, it dies. Only fools and fickle-minded people spread rumours. People with itchy ears don’t prosper. They are always wishing to hear something new and feed their souls and spirits with junk.

3. Beware of people who flatter with their lips:

Tale bearers flatter with their lips, beware of such people. Listen, many listening ears have a loose tongue. I pray that you shall use discretion in what you believe. Women going places are not always looking for someone to flatter them. Women going place have confidence in themselves.

4. Commit to discussing ideas, and not people or events:

Women going places discuss ideas; the wife of the prophet came to discuss her issue but her narration wasn’t right. She came talking about her late husband who had left her in debt and how she risks losing her children. But the prophet was smart, he did not join in the criticism, rather, he changed the direction of the discussion. The woman was so focussed on finding someone to blame that she was blinded to what she had at home. She was focussed on what she did not have, even though she had oil at home.

Sometimes weak people feel good when they make others look bad, but life is not about comparison. You must not fake what you can have for real. Don’t put out the light of others just so yours would shine brighter!