I want to exhort you on 9 things every person should have before marrying.
These are nine general things; these are unisex qualities. These are things both men and women should look for in their suitors before proceeding to have an engagement.
‘Engaged’ often describes people who have committed to getting married.
The following are 9 adjectives which describe things everyone seeking to date or get engaged must both possess and seek for in their suitors;
- Prepared
- Matured
- Responsible
- Believing
- God-fearing
- Employable and employed
- Submitted
- Decent and orderly
Now, let’s take a closer look at these key things that every person should demonstrate before engagement:
1. Readiness to marry within 18 months:
It is prudent to put off dating or engagement until you are capable of marrying within the next 18 months. There are many people walking around proposing or accepting proposals and yet are not ready for marriage. Such people will only waste your time.
Sometimes, we waste our time on those who are not ready, while those who are ready pass us by. I pray that you will have the discipline and commitment to put off dating and engagement until you are ready for marriage.
2. Maturity:
Maturity is demonstrated in thought pattern, understanding, and speech. 1 Corinthians 13:11-12 teaches that maturity is intentional. You must decide to put off childish things and embrace manly things.
[1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV] “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
Many marriages are failing because the couple has not transitioned into adulthood. Many of the young men especially are refusing to grow, and many young ladies settle in with them and get punished because they marry children.
Sometimes, it’s so pathetic to find fully grown men and women throwing temper tantrums, and ranting and raving. Many people are a bag of trouble to handle because they are refusing to transition into adulthood.
3. Responsibility:
The third thing every person should have before engagement is a sense of responsibility. Most responsible people demonstrate their sense of responsibility in how they manage their time, resources, self, emotion, and what has been trusted to their care.
For me one of the first signs of responsibility is punctuality. Your prospective suitor must show for a considerable length of time that he or she is responsible. Before you settle down with anyone, find out how he or she spends money or resources. A young lady who is willing to use a mobile phone that is more expensive than 6 months of her savings maybe a little bit irresponsible.
4. Possessing employable skills, and is employed:
An ideal suitor must have employable skills. I am not speaking about college degree; I am talking about something he or she is capable of doing. I may have a college degree in Sociology but I can teach, sell, cook, sew, etc. These are employable skill and must then have a job. If you don’t have a job, then what you need is a job and not a “girl or boy”.
5. Faith in God:
The fifth thing every person seeking to date, get engaged or marry must have and seek for in their suitors is a demonstration of their faith in God. This is mainly manifested as their commitment to family prayer. A person of faith is also committed to family prayer. Prayer must be daily and faith-filled. “Shall the son of man find faith when he returns”.
[Luke 18:7-8 KJV] “And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? [8] I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?”
Before you agree to get engaged to anyone, be sure they are demonstrating faith. Life is not a straight course, there come times when you get through only by faith and forcefulness.
6. Fear of God:
This is the sixth thing anyone seeking to get engaged or start dating must demonstrate. A person who fears God holds the Bible or the Scriptures as the most important guide to life, counselling, and conflict resolution. Such people live by the word. Does this person seeking your heart and mind fear God. Please you’ll regret it if you give your heart and mind to a person who does not fear God!
7. Submission to earthly authority:
The seventh thing each of us must have is a demonstration of submission to earthly authority. There should be someone he or she listens or submits to; either a father, mother, mentor, pastor or even a boss. Most working marriage would have failed had the couple not been submitted to some form of earthly authority. A man or woman who has not learned to submit to earthly authority is a time bomb ready to detonate.
Ruth was submitted to Naomi, Timothy was submitted to Apostle Paul, and Rebekah was submitted to her father. Why would you want to marry a girl who would not submit to her own father?
8. Decency and orderliness:
Boaz was not just decent but also orderly. Ruth was also a decent woman. Please, every one of us must strive to be decent and orderly. Don’t be sleeping around, it will come back and haunt you.
[Ruth 3:10 KJV] “And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich”
Listen, these are 8 things every person seeking to date or be engaged for marriage must have, develop or seek out in prospective suitors.
I love you
Pastor Simpe
